Glory was achieved on this day, which commenced with Stewart and Colbert's joint effort to restore sanity and or fear to Americans and ended with a delicious piece of carrot cake! It would have been epic without the carrot cake but cream cheese frosting makes life better, in general. Words cannot convey the enthusiasm or the overall good intentions of the crowd on the Mall this afternoon. Americans proudly displayed their "reason" and or "fear" on their eclectic signs with witty and mostly relevant phrases such as "I like my Tea with reasonable discourse," "Loud noises," "Bacon - nature's other candy," "Make muffins, not war," "They told me it was Tea (with the Kool-Aid logo)", "I like ice cream,""Dinosaurs are people too," "The Hamburgler," "the Right to arm bears," "Hitler is a Nazi," just to name a few.
I was so excited to support Stewart and Colbert in fact that I scarcely noticed my hunger, short of the "Why isn't this rally catered?" sign! I cannot help but boast that I refrained from urinating for 4 hours because of my limited intake of fluids and nourishment. Although it isn't prudent for this public display I mention my remarkable restraint to more appropriately convey today's abnormal circumstances, considering my infamous and frequent bathroom trips!
Besides those modest descriptions I am limited by language to impart the overwhelmingly warm and fuzzy feeling I felt surrounded by my fellow John Stewart and Stephen Colbert enthusiast! Perhaps this entry digresses from my typical subject but The Rally to Restore Sanity and or March to Keep Fear Alive is a memorable moment in History and I am proud to be a part of it! In conclusion, go America and Thank you Comedy Central for providing such admirable figures to the public!
I apologize if I disappointed any foodies, but have no fear and look forward to delicious content soon!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday - Deconstructed
Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Not Monday!!!!!!!!
-Not Tuesday!!!!!!!
-Not Wednesday!!!!!
-Not Thursday!!!!!!
(not Saturday)
-Not Sunday!!!!!!!!
At 7 am Friday mumbles and rolls over, "It has been a long week!"
Three minutes later Friday stares at the wall, "Let's get this over with."
"Do I have to?" It questions at 7:05 AM.
"What else would you do, write your papers?"
7:06
It throws off the covers and shivers.
Friday curses and scatters cranberries on the floor and steps on them in the dark. Yet again, it burns its tongue on oatmeal while it smirks at last night's episode of "The Daily Show," then brushes its teeth.
Friday rolls its eyes at the mention of "mitochondria," which isn't as stimulating as the bright florescent lights or as comforting as its bed at 8:37 AM.
Friday mutters under its breath and tries to follow the caffeinated instructor in Aerobic Fitness Class at 10:17 in the morning.
Friday limps into the shower and hastily makes lunch before the second flood of academia.
As interesting as society's anxieties regarding homosexuality in the 18th Century public and private spheres are riveting, Friday struggles to focus at 1:23 PM.
If only Friday can reach the cross light before the red hand then it can compare the commercialization of the Eastern versus Western female body until 3:25 PM.
Friday stands up, "Not dead yet!" At 3:26 PM and scurries to the bathroom.
Friday ponders "what's for dinner" as it washes its hands and escapes the white building.
"Let's go out," It suggests, "Because its Friday!"
-Not Monday!!!!!!!!
-Not Tuesday!!!!!!!
-Not Wednesday!!!!!
-Not Thursday!!!!!!
(not Saturday)
-Not Sunday!!!!!!!!
At 7 am Friday mumbles and rolls over, "It has been a long week!"
Three minutes later Friday stares at the wall, "Let's get this over with."
"Do I have to?" It questions at 7:05 AM.
"What else would you do, write your papers?"
7:06
It throws off the covers and shivers.
Friday curses and scatters cranberries on the floor and steps on them in the dark. Yet again, it burns its tongue on oatmeal while it smirks at last night's episode of "The Daily Show," then brushes its teeth.
Friday rolls its eyes at the mention of "mitochondria," which isn't as stimulating as the bright florescent lights or as comforting as its bed at 8:37 AM.
Friday mutters under its breath and tries to follow the caffeinated instructor in Aerobic Fitness Class at 10:17 in the morning.
Friday limps into the shower and hastily makes lunch before the second flood of academia.
As interesting as society's anxieties regarding homosexuality in the 18th Century public and private spheres are riveting, Friday struggles to focus at 1:23 PM.
If only Friday can reach the cross light before the red hand then it can compare the commercialization of the Eastern versus Western female body until 3:25 PM.
Friday stands up, "Not dead yet!" At 3:26 PM and scurries to the bathroom.
Friday ponders "what's for dinner" as it washes its hands and escapes the white building.
"Let's go out," It suggests, "Because its Friday!"
Monday, October 11, 2010
Heads start.
Dear delectable subjects:
Mom's home-made meatloaf.Rich Mango cake. Julie's pumpkin pie crunch. Aunt Jessica's onion dip. Carrot cake and cream cheese frosting. Tuna melts loaded with mayo and Swiss cheese. Cookie dough. Canton's honey chicken. Butter milk biscuits. Fish baked in herb butter. Freshly toasted bagel with butter. Mom's hot chocolate. Baked french toast. Mom's home-made potato soup with bacon pieces and chedder cheese. Spinach and artichoke dip. Pumpkin Pie. carvel Ice cream cake. Pad Thai. Cream cheese squares. Mom's Thanks-giving stuffing. Dark chocolate truffles. Pancakes dripping with maple syrup. Warm Penne with sweet potato, fennel, sage and Parmesan cheese. Chicken Caesar salad with freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Oreos. Fried rice. home-made Macaroni and cheese. Mexican food. Chocolate fudge cake. A warm chocolate Brownie with vanilla bean ice cream. Oven-fresh chocolate croissants. Deliciously vile take-out pizza. Peanut butter Captain Crunch cereal. pumpkin muffins with cream cheese center. Baked potato loaded with sour cream, green onions and bacon. Warm cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting. Cream cheese frosting. Cheese-its. Loaded Oatmeal raisin cookies. Eating the entire Flannigan Shananigan. Frosted Lemon cake. Key-lime pie. White bread and butter. Cuban Sandwich.
I remember your seductive ways and your desirable scent. No, you have not been replaced, after all, who could replace you? You bring warmth on a blustery day.
I try to keep our distance except on rare occasions, although you delight me. I still love you, and in fact my admiration for you has grown. This is safer, however, because your temptations render "moderation" meaningless so I loose control.I carefully plan our encounters with great anticipation while you wait in fear. This predatory relationship unfortunately benefits one champion - myself, or so I would like to believe. I will warn you then, as I scheme our next rendez-vous.
Adieu.
Yours affectionately,
A Humble Admirer.
Mom's home-made meatloaf.Rich Mango cake. Julie's pumpkin pie crunch. Aunt Jessica's onion dip. Carrot cake and cream cheese frosting. Tuna melts loaded with mayo and Swiss cheese. Cookie dough. Canton's honey chicken. Butter milk biscuits. Fish baked in herb butter. Freshly toasted bagel with butter. Mom's hot chocolate. Baked french toast. Mom's home-made potato soup with bacon pieces and chedder cheese. Spinach and artichoke dip. Pumpkin Pie. carvel Ice cream cake. Pad Thai. Cream cheese squares. Mom's Thanks-giving stuffing. Dark chocolate truffles. Pancakes dripping with maple syrup. Warm Penne with sweet potato, fennel, sage and Parmesan cheese. Chicken Caesar salad with freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Oreos. Fried rice. home-made Macaroni and cheese. Mexican food. Chocolate fudge cake. A warm chocolate Brownie with vanilla bean ice cream. Oven-fresh chocolate croissants. Deliciously vile take-out pizza. Peanut butter Captain Crunch cereal. pumpkin muffins with cream cheese center. Baked potato loaded with sour cream, green onions and bacon. Warm cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting. Cream cheese frosting. Cheese-its. Loaded Oatmeal raisin cookies. Eating the entire Flannigan Shananigan. Frosted Lemon cake. Key-lime pie. White bread and butter. Cuban Sandwich.
I remember your seductive ways and your desirable scent. No, you have not been replaced, after all, who could replace you? You bring warmth on a blustery day.
I try to keep our distance except on rare occasions, although you delight me. I still love you, and in fact my admiration for you has grown. This is safer, however, because your temptations render "moderation" meaningless so I loose control.I carefully plan our encounters with great anticipation while you wait in fear. This predatory relationship unfortunately benefits one champion - myself, or so I would like to believe. I will warn you then, as I scheme our next rendez-vous.
Adieu.
Yours affectionately,
A Humble Admirer.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Calorie Counting Insanity!!!
There is a fracture in my universe and gravity feels weightless. I am spinning in a vortex of calories and meals lack their usual pizazz. How can this be so, you ask, well let me explain.
My enthusiasm for food has been threatened since I was assigned food journals for two classes this week.To my dismay, I now imagine carbohydrates instead of a sweet potato and wonder if I am eating enough or two many calories per day. I eat when I feel hungry and I stop eating when I feel full, typically. Why can't we leave it at that? Calculators have no place in this instinctual exchange! My prehistoric ancestors didn't use the terms "fat", "carbohydrates" and "protein" and they weren't suffering from epidemic obesity! It seems the more we inquire, the less we actually understand. Is that what this assignment is for - to examine my failure in the simple task of eating?! A wild bear apparently knows more about eating than myself, so how does that reflect my intelligence, or lack there of? I would hire a bear tutor, but I'm not too keen to be listed between berries and honey on its food journal!
These assignments have interested me to compare my diet to that of other student's . I realize that I am not your average college eater, which has made it more challenging to calculate my caloric intake. I never believed that I would be desire the clear nutritional information provided on packed "foods." I use the quotations by the way, because I don't consider most processed items as actual food, since they are produced in factories and basically lack any nutritional value. My healthy diet's nutritional break-down requires detective expertise, ironically compared to my fellow Ramen Noodle enthusiasts!I even contemplated stealing my friend's "Burger Diet," and yet I wasn't certain my teachers would believe that I regularly consume meat patties, ketchup and Chips-Ahoy cookies! Some people have remarkable metabolisms, though, I was never one of them.
On a side note, curse the male gender's capacity to demolish whimsical pizzas at 10 pm at night! Women deserve that, and not men! We bear children! Enough said. Moving along.
On the bright side, I can't wait to finish this dietary obsession and celebrate with a diabetic coma! The occasionally pint of Ben and Jerry's triggers the unnaturally rapid formation of glucose and confuses my ill-adapted digestive organs. Thank you, Western Civilization for engineering food products that out-smart our biology. Hooray for obesity!
Okay, so maybe that's not the best idea, so why does it sounds so delicious?
My enthusiasm for food has been threatened since I was assigned food journals for two classes this week.To my dismay, I now imagine carbohydrates instead of a sweet potato and wonder if I am eating enough or two many calories per day. I eat when I feel hungry and I stop eating when I feel full, typically. Why can't we leave it at that? Calculators have no place in this instinctual exchange! My prehistoric ancestors didn't use the terms "fat", "carbohydrates" and "protein" and they weren't suffering from epidemic obesity! It seems the more we inquire, the less we actually understand. Is that what this assignment is for - to examine my failure in the simple task of eating?! A wild bear apparently knows more about eating than myself, so how does that reflect my intelligence, or lack there of? I would hire a bear tutor, but I'm not too keen to be listed between berries and honey on its food journal!
These assignments have interested me to compare my diet to that of other student's . I realize that I am not your average college eater, which has made it more challenging to calculate my caloric intake. I never believed that I would be desire the clear nutritional information provided on packed "foods." I use the quotations by the way, because I don't consider most processed items as actual food, since they are produced in factories and basically lack any nutritional value. My healthy diet's nutritional break-down requires detective expertise, ironically compared to my fellow Ramen Noodle enthusiasts!I even contemplated stealing my friend's "Burger Diet," and yet I wasn't certain my teachers would believe that I regularly consume meat patties, ketchup and Chips-Ahoy cookies! Some people have remarkable metabolisms, though, I was never one of them.
On a side note, curse the male gender's capacity to demolish whimsical pizzas at 10 pm at night! Women deserve that, and not men! We bear children! Enough said. Moving along.
On the bright side, I can't wait to finish this dietary obsession and celebrate with a diabetic coma! The occasionally pint of Ben and Jerry's triggers the unnaturally rapid formation of glucose and confuses my ill-adapted digestive organs. Thank you, Western Civilization for engineering food products that out-smart our biology. Hooray for obesity!
Okay, so maybe that's not the best idea, so why does it sounds so delicious?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
A foodie's remorse...
What would I do for a kitchen?
For a home-made dinner?
For left-overs?
For even a steak!?
I would embrace Costco's hoards,
its frustrating check-out lines,
the miserable loading and un-loading process,
the long dinner parties,
the last-minute trips for ingredients,
just to make curry from scratch!
Oh, how I miss saucepans,
stove tops and ovens!
Man, how I ache for a spatula
or a standard size fridge!
Would some lemon zest be asking too much?
oh, right, I have no grater!
My teeth are useless,
I've tried.
plus, my dentist already hates me.
I'm drowning in oatmeal, yogurt,
nuts and dried fruit,
hard-boiled eggs and salad.
The pita and hummus splurge,
for those whimsical moments!
A glob of crunchy Peanut butter
keeps my taste buds alive,
til Afghan or Indian chefs serve me
with the closest to home-made meals I can get!
For a home-made dinner?
For left-overs?
For even a steak!?
I would embrace Costco's hoards,
its frustrating check-out lines,
the miserable loading and un-loading process,
the long dinner parties,
the last-minute trips for ingredients,
just to make curry from scratch!
Oh, how I miss saucepans,
stove tops and ovens!
Man, how I ache for a spatula
or a standard size fridge!
Would some lemon zest be asking too much?
oh, right, I have no grater!
My teeth are useless,
I've tried.
plus, my dentist already hates me.
I'm drowning in oatmeal, yogurt,
nuts and dried fruit,
hard-boiled eggs and salad.
The pita and hummus splurge,
for those whimsical moments!
A glob of crunchy Peanut butter
keeps my taste buds alive,
til Afghan or Indian chefs serve me
with the closest to home-made meals I can get!
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