There is a fracture in my universe and gravity feels weightless. I am spinning in a vortex of calories and meals lack their usual pizazz. How can this be so, you ask, well let me explain.
My enthusiasm for food has been threatened since I was assigned food journals for two classes this week.To my dismay, I now imagine carbohydrates instead of a sweet potato and wonder if I am eating enough or two many calories per day. I eat when I feel hungry and I stop eating when I feel full, typically. Why can't we leave it at that? Calculators have no place in this instinctual exchange! My prehistoric ancestors didn't use the terms "fat", "carbohydrates" and "protein" and they weren't suffering from epidemic obesity! It seems the more we inquire, the less we actually understand. Is that what this assignment is for - to examine my failure in the simple task of eating?! A wild bear apparently knows more about eating than myself, so how does that reflect my intelligence, or lack there of? I would hire a bear tutor, but I'm not too keen to be listed between berries and honey on its food journal!
These assignments have interested me to compare my diet to that of other student's . I realize that I am not your average college eater, which has made it more challenging to calculate my caloric intake. I never believed that I would be desire the clear nutritional information provided on packed "foods." I use the quotations by the way, because I don't consider most processed items as actual food, since they are produced in factories and basically lack any nutritional value. My healthy diet's nutritional break-down requires detective expertise, ironically compared to my fellow Ramen Noodle enthusiasts!I even contemplated stealing my friend's "Burger Diet," and yet I wasn't certain my teachers would believe that I regularly consume meat patties, ketchup and Chips-Ahoy cookies! Some people have remarkable metabolisms, though, I was never one of them.
On a side note, curse the male gender's capacity to demolish whimsical pizzas at 10 pm at night! Women deserve that, and not men! We bear children! Enough said. Moving along.
On the bright side, I can't wait to finish this dietary obsession and celebrate with a diabetic coma! The occasionally pint of Ben and Jerry's triggers the unnaturally rapid formation of glucose and confuses my ill-adapted digestive organs. Thank you, Western Civilization for engineering food products that out-smart our biology. Hooray for obesity!
Okay, so maybe that's not the best idea, so why does it sounds so delicious?
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